October 30, 2010

Cellman Wishes You a Happy Halloween! Press "0" To Talk To The Operator

Can you hear me now? Speak directly into the mouthpiece, please.

October 24, 2010

Please, Kids... Get Your Education!

Enjoy returning to school Monday, kids. Remember, it's easier to pay attention now than to pay for it for the rest of your life.

October 23, 2010

Woman Drove For Months With Dead Body in Passenger Seat - No HOV Lane For You

Medical examiners have identified a mummified corpse that was left in a car's passenger seat for 10 months in Southern California, a police spokesman said Friday.

Authorities had said earlier it could take weeks to identify the homeless woman, but the Orange County coroner's office was able to rehydrate the desiccated body's fingertips to obtain a usable fingerprint, said Costa Mesa police Detective Sgt. Paul Beckman. The office will not release the name until next-of-kin are notified, he said.

The woman's remains, discovered Monday in a car parked illegally in Costa Mesa, are little more than skin and bones and weigh 30 pounds, said police Sgt. Ed Everett.

The car's driver befriended the homeless woman in a park in nearby Fountain Valley and told her she could sleep in the car. When she found the woman dead in the passenger seat, she was afraid to tell police, Everett said.

The driver is a 57-year-old former real estate agent from Corona del Mar, an upscale beach community, who herself had fallen on hard times and was living with friends, he said.

Authorities have not determined if the driver, whose name has been withheld, will face any charges in the case.

An autopsy showed no signs of trauma. Toxicology reports could take six weeks or more, Everett said.

"We would obviously be looking at what laws deal with the transportation of bodies. Ultimately, this is still an undetermined death," Beckman said. "There's still a vast amount of investigation necessary."

The woman whose car she died in last saw her in December, but it wasn't immediately clear when she discovered the body, Everett said.

The driver had placed a box of baking soda in the car to mask the smell and covered the body with a blanket and some clothes, he said.

Officers found it Monday when they noticed a stench while responding to a call about an illegally parked vehicle.

October 22, 2010

GNOC For the Win - How Pervs Rule the Internet

GNOC is currently the hottest of all hot trends at Google Trends. That seems to be one of those things that just makes you scratch their head. Why, all over the world, are computer users bringing up their Google search and typing “GNOC” into their search bars?

GNOC is an acronym that has been around for awhile. It's mainly used by the pervs who cruise various chat rooms like some sort of cyber-version of Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino. When they find a female they like, they'll invariable suggest she “Get Naked On Cam,” or GNOC.

Some people entering the phrase might be looking for the Gambia National Olympic Committee. However, it seems unlikely that there are enough Gambians surfing the web at any given time looking for information about their Olympic committee.

More likely it's just a bunch of pervy pervs hoping that the hottest women, or any females for that matter, will get naked on their web cam.

Either way, it looks like this day belongs to GNOC.

October 8, 2010

Marilyn Monroe's Chest X-Ray From 1954 Sells For $45,000 at Las Vegas Auction - Great Side Boob

Marilyn Monroe's bust has sold for a bundle.

A 1954 x-ray of the stunning starlet's chest sold at auction in Las Vegas on Sunday for a sizable $45,000. This was well above the estimated $800 to $1,200 it was expected to fetch.

The bizarre medical photograph was one of several of Monroe's belongings that were up for bid at Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino via Julien's Auctions over the weekend.

"[The x-ray] was taken around the time she was believed to be pregnant, and rumor has it that she had a miscarriage," President/CEO Darren Julien told the Daily News back in April.

It was captured at Cedars of Lebanon Hospital (which in 1961 merged with another hospital to become Cedars-Sinai Medical Center), and features the then 28-year-old Monroe's chest and lungs.

Since I love you guys, here it is for free. You just saved $45,000. You're welcome!

Stairway to Heaven... Or At Least Halfway There - This Looks Safe

October 6, 2010

How To Get A Kiss From A Random Stranger - Lessons For Real Life

I know... Everyone posts videos, and they are never worth the time to click them.

But this one is good for a laugh, I swear. Have I ever steered you wrong on a video before? Click it already!

Tennessee Teen Shot in Ass Over Sagging Pants - Wallet Would Have Stopped Bullet

Police say a 45-year-old Memphis man angry over two teens' sagging pants shot one in the ass during an argument. He faces aggravated assault charges.

The boys were walking through a southeast Memphis neighborhood when Kenneth E. Bonds yelled at them to pull up their pants, according to an arrest document.

Police Sgt. Ron Perry said the teens refused and the three began arguing in the street. Bonds then brandished a semi-automatic pistol and threatened to shoot the teens.

Perry said Bonds fired several shots and hit one of the teens as the pair ran away. The teen's wound wasn't critical. The other wasn't injured in the Sept. 25 shooting first reported by The Commercial Appeal in Memphis.

A court clerk says it's not clear if Bonds had a lawyer.

October 4, 2010

Florida Man Denies Crack in Buttocks is His... It's Exactly Like It Sounds

When sheriff's deputies allegedly discovered bags of marijuana and cocaine between a man's buttocks, they said he gave a quick explanation. Manatee County deputies said Raymond Stanley Roberts told them "The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is."

Deputies stopped the 25-year-old Wednesday in Bradenton for speeding. Officers said they smelled marijuana and searched him. That's when they allegedly found a bag of marijuana between Roberts' buttocks.

Officers then discovered another bag in there; the report said it contained 27 pieces of rock cocaine, also known as crack.

The Bradenton Herald reported Roberts was arrested for drug possession and has bonded out of jail. The person who answered Friday at a phone number listed for Roberts said it wasn't his.